Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

'Perv' Cubicle and My Bestest Shoes

Newspaper article Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England)

'Perv' Cubicle and My Bestest Shoes

Article excerpt

Byline: MIKEMILLIGAN @choochsdad MIKEMILLIGAN It's a funny old world

PEOPLE like patterns in life - it's part of our programming to feel safe with the familiar.

That's why we have preferences - your favourite chair, cup, jumper, pen or even parking space all set to impose order on the chaos of reality.

Most of us had our favourite pair of jeans or bonny shirt for our Friday nights "oot on the Toon" - Haircut 100 even wrote a song about it although, ironically, it's not one of my favourite tunes!

The "getting ready" record could set the tone for the whole night - our lass professed it was a dead straightforward - "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper for her (no mixed messages there!), while I liked the "Boys Are Back In Town" by Thin Lizzy - a bit blokey but I was going to the hairy-bummed heed-banging night at Mayfair, not the Literary and Philosophical Society's annual dinner.

Once out, my mate had his favourite "pulling pants" - he said he felt invincible in his quilted Kid Creole baggy, yet tapered, burgundy Le Brevs.

I would wager it was the fact he was wadded and looked like the high-cheekboned Nordic male model frontman from the synth group Aha that probably swung it with the ladies.

It starts in childhood - you have your favourite teddy, your preferred corner of the wendy house and the bestest ever pair of shoes you try to go to bed in.

My personal faves were a pair of Clark's Commandos with the obligatory compass in the heel and animal tracks on the soles. (Only in the '70s was it deemed acceptable to trick out your kid in footwear more appropriate for a downed airman or an agent from the Special Operations Executive).

You had your favourite swing in the park - slightly shorter than the rest with a new rubber seat and a cool noise that sounded like Chewbacca off Star Wars when you reached your favourite height and speed. In secondary school, I had my favourite desk in each room, my favourite spot in the yard where you could watch the unattainable goddesses float from the sixth form block while remaining invisible to the meat-heeds in smoking their tabs in the prison gym corner. …

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