Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Take a Chance on May? Mamma Mia! No Thanks

Newspaper article The Journal (Newcastle, England)

Take a Chance on May? Mamma Mia! No Thanks

Article excerpt

Byline: Stephen Hepburn

STRICTLY Come Dancing is unlikely to be on the telephone to Theresa May when she's foxtrotted out of Downing Street by Conservative plotters or the nation at a General Election, a race developing to show her the door first.

Over the years clodhoppers such as John Sergeant, Ann Widdecombe and my good friend Ed Balls made up for a lack of slick moves with bags of personality yet the Maybot displays less emotional intelligence than a vending machine refusing to return your last PS1 back when that can of Coke fails to drop.

The self-styled Dancing Queen's SOS was her Waterloo at the Tory conference when the country didn't exactly applaud what felt like the fading Prime Minister's plea to Take a Chance on Me.

"Okay, after last year's unmitigated disaster, the bar for her speech this year was so low it was actually on the ground.

The Queen's her Waterloo Tory I watched 12 months ago in disbelief as the hapless Tory leader suffered a car crash with a P45, coughing fit and slogan falling off the stage.

Fast forward a year and how far she's fallen was gauged by applause in the hall, from Tories waiting to dance on her grave, for a routine that would see her asked to leave any nightspot in the land to avoid distressing clubbers.

We might be able to forgive her video of swaying awkwardly with South African children in Cape Town, but the wonky ironing-board act in Birmingham was, well, a sign of why the rest of the European Union's running rings around May.

She's been a dead woman walking since Labour wiped out the Conservative majority at the 2017 General Election when she arrogantly expected to waltz back into Downing Street with an enormous majority.

It's been downhill all the way after creating a Bung Parliament to buy with PS1billion of taxpayers' money the 10 votes of Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionist MPs to keep her in No 10. …

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