Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

You Think I'll Make a Prediction, Huh?

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

You Think I'll Make a Prediction, Huh?

Article excerpt

Oh no you don't. You're not going to talk me into making a

prediction on the Jaguars. Absolutely, positively no, no,

no. Not this year.

This whole business of preseason predictions is getting

insane. Every publication, every NFL and college scribe, makes a

prediction with the sole purpose of trying to be different

instead of accurate. Preseason predictions have become the

nick-knack shelf of journalism, a collection of useless trinkets

displayed by writers who don't know nearly as much as they think

they do.

Well, not me, brother. I'm out of the prediction business for

good . . . even though I did have a pretty good year last

season. If you'll recall, I picked Jacksonville to go 8-8 and

endured the ridicule of my colleagues when I wrote that the Jags

would be the best NFL team in the state.

But I know how you work. You never call up to say "good job"

when my predictions turn out to be right. It's only when I blow

one that you call up and leave profound voice-mail messages

like: "Yo, Bianchi, you're dumber than a fence post."

What's that?

You would never use my prediction against me? You respect my

opinion? You think I'm extremely knowledgeable? You think I know

more about football than anybody in this town? You think my hair

is starting to look thicker and fuller?

Well, now that you mention it, I guess one more little

prediction wouldn't hurt anything, now would it? Based on a

tougher schedule and the fact that quarterback Mark Brunell will

be out for the first few weeks of the season, I think the

Jaguars will finish with a record of . . .

Thought you had me, didn't you? Thought you could flatter me

into a prediction, didn't you? Thicker, fuller hair? Puhleeze.

My forehead should come with a dimmer switch. …

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