Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Parents, It's Either Beauties or Beasts with SI

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Parents, It's Either Beauties or Beasts with SI

Article excerpt

Running off at the typewriter. . . .

Once again there are parents upset about the current Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue because they say it corrupts the youth of America. OK, then, so let's get back to what the magazine usually covers --- murder, drug abuse and cross-dressing power forwards. . . . Tonya Harding is arrested for attacking her live-in boyfriend with a hubcap. The only weapon that would have been more appropriate for our favorite ice-skating biker babe would have been a tube-top full of sparkplugs. . . .

Bobby Cremins' star faded faster than Bobby Sherman's. . . . And will somebody please explain to me why there aren't any teams from Ohio in the Ohio Valley Conference? . . . Speaking of misleading names, how about Sam Lightbody, the 6-foot-9, 300-pound offensive tackle recruit signed by Washington State? . . .

Did you know John Rocker's father is a lawyer, his mother is a teacher, and he scored a 1,270 on the SAT and was a straight-A student in high school? And we all thought he stepped straight out of Dukes of Hazzard. . . . Deion Sanders doesn't want to play baseball; he wants to be a baseball player. . . . This is when you know unedited Internet gossip/garbage has gotten out of control. Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher was so victimized recently by an on-line claim that he impregnated a secretary from the team's office that he felt compelled to go public with word he'd had a vasectomy. . . .

Sports radio gabmaster David Lamm, an avid golfer, recorded his career first hole-in-one (155 yards) Thursday using, ahem, an 11-wood. That's right, an 11-wood. Can a long putter be far behind for the aging round mound of expound? . . .

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has agreed to join the L.A. Clippers as an assistant coach. This will be his first foray into comedy since he made a cameo in Airplane. . . . Marty McSorley shouldn't be suspended, he should be made to take part in a steel cage, Texas death skateoff with Tonya Harding. . . . Is there any surer sign Armageddon is approaching than this: The Arena Football League announced it is canceling its season due to labor strife. …

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