Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

The Seven Deadly Sins Have Nothing on These

Newspaper article The Chronicle (Toowoomba, Australia)

The Seven Deadly Sins Have Nothing on These

Article excerpt



AMONG the rubbish articles I've read in the past week was a so-called scientific study on seven of the most annoying things people do and why.

The list included people who constantly clear their throat, those who say "you know" and "like" a lot, those who bite their fingernails, those who complain constantly about ailments, road-rage drivers, and (my favourite) people who sneeze loudly.

Apparently, for instance, people who say "like" and "you know" a lot are quite intelligent and people who bite their nails are perfectionists.

Like, you know, who pays for studies like this?

The article quoted from studies by some of the world's most prestigious universities which came up with such fascinating answers such as people who clear their throat a lot "could have a nose and sinus problem".

Oh really? What a shock!

And, what about the loud sneezers?

Well, according this study, it's your anatomy. Again, Oh really?

"Individual differences in anatomy such as abdominal strength, trachea size and lung volume may cause some sneezers to be especially loud," the study informed.

My mate Nobby is the loudest sneezer I've heard, and for mine I reckon it's got less to do with his anatomy and more to do with the huge nose he has hanging off the front of his face.

Nobby's been known to blow a canary off its perch while putting his own shoulder out with just one sneeze.

And as for people who constantly complain about their ailments?

Far from being hypochondriacs as the study found, I'd say, by experience, that's just getting old.

But I reckon this article missed the real annoying traits of people.

People biting their nails or sneezing or whining about their bad back hardly bother me at all.

The traits that I find annoying, if not disgusting, are practices such as "The Bushman's Hanky", noisy eaters, public undies re-arranging, farting in planes or taxis, and a personal affront - those who peer over one's shoulder when one is writing, a practice particularly disconcerting for court journos. …

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