Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Mind Your Language! Football Notebook: It's All Chinese to Arsenal as a Cloud Hangs over Highbury

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Mind Your Language! Football Notebook: It's All Chinese to Arsenal as a Cloud Hangs over Highbury

Article excerpt

Byline: MARTIN CHILTON

IF Cloud Canada is the manager of Arsenal then I'm a Chinaman.

Football bigwigs such as David Dein salivate at the idea of ever expanding markets for clubs and Arsenal have become the first in Britain to provide a dedicated site (asia.arsenal.com) - translated into traditional Chinese - for the Asian market.

But what are they telling the Chinese? Using online translation machine Babel Fish, Notebook deciphered Arsenal's site back into English and there are some bizarre literal translations.

Arsenal are Arab League Immortal Slave, managed by Cloud Canada (Arsene Wenger). Star players include Enlightens the Feudal Official (Lee Dixon).

Local derbies are against Hot Thorn (Tottenham) and Vehicle Route Gentlemen (Chelsea).

And how sweetly untrue that Manchester United are Graceful Association.

Sadly there's no truth in the rumour that the Chinese symbols for Kanu translate as "Bum aches after sitting on the bench too long".

POOR old Ponytail was taunted at Highbury by West Ham fans singing: "England's number four." It was the end of a bad week that started at the England kit launch when David James was asked: "What have you learned from David Seaman?"

James replied: "Hair grows fast."

WELL done Charlton's Chris Powell. Every parent will appreciate the trouble he took to chat to the girl mascot on his England debut. He gave her a memory to treasure.

ALL those who lament the lost golden age of football might like to ponder on the callous way in which Stan Cullis was sacked by Wolves in September 1964.

The first he knew of it was when he received a note asking for his keys to the ground. Cullis's sergeant major methods would have been interesting in our age of prima donna players.

After one night game, Cullis hauled a young midfielder back on to the pitch and marched him up and down. The young player said: "Have you lost something Mr Cullis?"

He replied: "Yes, son, the hole you hid in for most of the second half. …

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