Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Your Country Needs You; Travel: With Parliament on Holiday, We'd All like to Tell Our Politicians Exactly Where to Go - for a Well-Deserved Break in Britain, of Course. Steve Morrissey Has Some Tailor-Made Suggestions

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

Your Country Needs You; Travel: With Parliament on Holiday, We'd All like to Tell Our Politicians Exactly Where to Go - for a Well-Deserved Break in Britain, of Course. Steve Morrissey Has Some Tailor-Made Suggestions

Article excerpt

Byline: STEVE MORRISSEY

TONY Blair's decision to take a break in the West of England demonstrates a determination to woo tourists back to our countryside. But all high-profile politicos should be holidaying in Britain this summer.

The divine Ann Widdecombe opted out of the Church founded by wife-slaying Henry VIII when she found one with even fewer enlightened ideas about women the Church of Rome.

Though her current outfit doesn't like ladies at the altar, it does employ the next best thing: blokes in skirts with a penchant for candles and incense. Perhaps Ms Widdecombe thought she was joining the Church of Anita Roddick.

Anyway, get her to the new Vianney House hotel for Roman Catholic priests, in Bradford female Church of England priests welcome. (Honest.) The phrase "meteoric rise", as every pedant knows, is technically inaccurate. Meteors fall, blazing red in the gloaming like a severely putout ginger Scotsman.

But that's something the "cleverest man in the Labour Party" sadly forgot on his rapid ascent. Which is why there's poetry in Robin Cook s holiday choice.

It will take him from the top to the bottom in the shortest possible time - an abseiling weekend..

The only man to stir fire in the loins in the recent torpid election with his punch-up shenanigans, John Prescott became something of a momentary pinup.

We therefore suggest that the Brad Pitt of the Labour Party takes a Fight Club break. But since the first rule of Fight Club is: you don't talk about Fight Club, we won t be expecting any postcards.

For Chancellor Gordon Brown, obviously, it's a booze run over from Dover.

Think of the duty he will save.

But, being Gordon, he is only prepared to embark on such a journey when it is financially prudent to do so, when the five economic tests that he has outlined in Parliament have been met, and when his brother gets back from Dumfries with the Transit.

It was revealed this week that former Conservative leadership hopeful Michael Portillo has a big fan in Tony Blair, who this week described the luxuriantly coiffed El Porthole as "charismatic" ((sounds like boarding-school crush material to us). …

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