Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

TV Babe Moans: Footballers Talk a Load of Balls

Newspaper article The Evening Standard (London, England)

TV Babe Moans: Footballers Talk a Load of Balls

Article excerpt

Byline: MARTIN CHILTON

PERHAPS a row between actresses and footballers over intellectual qualities is one best left to Mensa to sort out but you may want a stiff drink if you have any illusions about our sporting heroes that you don't want shattered.

Rosey-faced Jennifer Ellison, whose former gentleman caller goes by the name of Steven Gerrard, had some rather unkind words to say about footballers after the pair split.

The 18-year-old actress, who pouts very well as Emily in Brookside, said: "Footballers are great to go out with if all you want to talk about is them and fast cars. They're obsessed with flash cars. I just see them as 22 fellas running round a pitch kicking a piece of rubber into two pieces of string - a gang of stupid idiots who probably haven't got a GCSE to their name. A footballer once said to me, 'I'm a legend' and I just thought 'Oh, you big-headed idiot. I used to fancy you and now I can't even look at you.'"

EMLYN HUGHES can usually be relied on to make an arse of himself during the football season but doing it twice during a long summer break from the game was good going even for a man of his unique talents. Firstly, as the former Liverpool defender droned on in a BBC radio interview about how many England caps he won (too many, since you ask), he was given the chance to say what he would do if he were Britain's dictator for a day.

Now rewind a bit and remember that dear old Emlyn has peculiar tastes in women. He's been known to suck up to royal fillies (he got a bit touchy-feely with Princess Anne on Question of Sport), described Mrs Thatcher as "cuddly" and says his favourite film star is pink icon Judy Garland.

Women are fine in their place, obviously, but not behind the wheel. "I do a lot of driving every year, about 75,000 miles and I would ban woman drivers if I were dictator," cooed Emlyn.

His second great summer contribution was to take umbrage on behalf of Merseyside because Sol Campbell decided not to join Liverpool. Hughes said: "Sol Campbell is not a Liverpool player because he is not a passer of the ball. He couldn't pass water. If he tried to hit a door 10 yards away he'd hit another door 10 yards further down."

Anyone got a box to take Crazy Horse to the knacker's yard?

SELLING DVDs and videos after an unsuccessful season is not easy so it' s no surprise that Highbury bosses rejected the suggested title Unlucky Arsenal in favour of the dull, but accurate, 2000-2001 The Official End of Season Review.

Notebook's favourite, however, was West Ham's video, Like Our Dreams, which had a blurb boasting: "It was the season that had everything". Except those trifling little things called trophies, of course.

THIS one should cheer up the purists. Brazil ditched Pele's beautiful game ethos when they hired "Big Phil" Luiz Felipe Scolari as coach in June. …

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