Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Dull Wits Can Cause Deep Injury

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Dull Wits Can Cause Deep Injury

Article excerpt

Byline: Terry Dickson, Times-Union staff writer

Some people faint at the sight of blood. If you're one of those who faints at the spelling of it, stop reading.

I cut myself. Actually, I filleted my finger.

It happened while I was cleaning fish at the St. Simons Marina after Gene Brown and I had stayed well within the daily creel limit on whiting.

I was sharpening my knife when I sort of jabbed it through the end of my left index finger. I do not recommend this as a way of testing a knife's sharpness. Side effects include an immediate shedding of type O-positive, pain and a lot of advice.

Gene immediately grabbed some ice and paper towels and told me to ice it while applying pressure. And being a chiropractor, he did what chiropractors do, he tried to adjust it.

"Hold it up higher," he said.

Well, that didn't work except to coat my upper arm in the aforementioned O-positive. I'm not saying I bled a lot, but fishermen reported seeing schools of shark headed up the Frederica River with bibs tied around their necks. Instead of lobsters, the bibs had designs of a guy holding a fishing rod.

But I don't think a shark would actually bite me. I had caught two earlier that day and tossed them back. Gene said he's never eaten a shark. He figures if his boat ever sinks and he ends up swimming around in hammerheads and blacktips, one of them will recognize him as a kindly soul and talk his shark peers out of eating him.

Gene started talking about severed arteries and tendons and damaged nerves and I took his advice to consult a physician.

"When did you have your last tetanus shot?" the doctor asked.

"About three years ago in the room next door," I said. That was an equally embarrassing gardening accident that we will not go into now.

The real pain didn't start until the following Monday when I walked into Sweet Mama's for breakfast with a bandage the size of an official NFL football.

"What happened to you?" the guys at the corner table asked.

I told them and the real pain began. Doug Lane simply looked at the tips of the two fingers he had surgically reattached after he sawed them off. …

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