Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Unfortunately, These Stories Are All Too True

Newspaper article The Florida Times Union

Unfortunately, These Stories Are All Too True

Article excerpt

Byline: Terry Dickson, Times-Union staff writer

Here are a few things that happened before my very eyes or within earshot in the past few days that I'd like to share. Not only that, my vacation started this weekend and I was busy last week rigging fishing poles and trying to figure which of my 19 drivers to take to the golf course.

-- -- --

A nice lady called a few nights ago asking me to participate in a survey on advertising for some Internet travel companies.

But first, she said, she had some preliminary questions.

"Do you use the Internet at home?" she asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Do you use the Internet at work?" she asked.

"Yes I do," I said, "Up to six hours a day."

"Do you use the Internet at school?" she asked.

"I don't go to school," I said.

"Let me repeat the question," she said. "Do you use the Internet at school."

"I've been out of school 20 years so there's no way for me to use the Internet at school," I said.

"Sir," she said sternly. "This requires a yes or no answer."

-- -- --

Speaking of the Internet, our digital subscriber line has gone down a couple of times so we've called for assistance.

What was the first suggestion?

"Help is also available on our Web site at www.thisconfounded thingisbustedagain.com," the helpful folks said quite enthusiastically. (I couldn't remember the actual Web address, so I made up a more appropriate one.)

And we always respond this way:

"If I could get on the Internet, I wouldn't be calling you, now would I?"

-- -- --

Outside the office one day, a sizable lady rattled the windows with her strong voice.

"Mind your business. Mind your business," she shouted at a man parked beside her.

The man, Leonard Saunders of St. Simons Island, thought he was doing that when he asked the woman to move her car.

The woman was blocking a wheelchair ramp beside a space reserved for the disabled. Saunders, who needs a walker to get around after some spinal surgery, said he told the woman, "You'll have to move your car. …

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