Newspaper article Evansville Courier & Press (2007-Current)

The Cheap Seats: A Humorous Look at Sports

Newspaper article Evansville Courier & Press (2007-Current)

The Cheap Seats: A Humorous Look at Sports

Article excerpt

Uniforms make the team notes what it believes are some of the most important features of the new uniforms that Nike is providing the NFL

"Pittsburgh Steelers - all Steelers jerseys contain a magnetic strip containing their credit card and bank information that allows Roger Goodell to fine them on the field with a single swipe."

"Dallas Cowboys - the Cowboys' uniforms feature the thinnest, most lightweight fabric ever made, as the team doesn't need a uniform that provides warmth in January."

"Indianapolis Colts - Colts jerseys are now just white T-shirts with Andrew Luck's face airbrushed on the front."

"Jacksonville Jaguars - Nike forgot to make Jaguars uniforms. The Jaguars are just getting sweatpants and some numbered pinnies."

Sympathy for Captain Hook released its predictions of the over-and-under odds for major league baseball teams to win the World Series. For the defending champion St. Louis Cardinals

"Over if... Adam Wainwright stays healthy, Chris Carpenter gets healthy and David Freese can carry his postseason success over into the regular season. "Under if... The team loses focus and realizes how boring baseball can be without Tony LaRussa making a few dozen pitching changes every game to liven things up."

These guys are none too Saintly

Among comedian Conan O'Brien's "Next Week's Spoilers" is the question, "Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?" which will be answered: The coaching staff.

A most expensive charity

Among the Top Ten Charities Under Investigation listed by the Late Show With David Leterman was the No. 1 item: the New York Mets.

Don't expect a miracle this year

In the same vein, Letterman also listed the Top Ten Good Things About Living In A Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland. At No. 1: "Still easy to purchase Met tickets."

This sport is not on the clock

Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times writes that Texas Tech won a repeat national championship - and then the coach abruptly announced that she and her entire team are transferring their talents to Webster University in suburban St. …

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