Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Proving Your Love Bringing a Spiritual Perspective to Daily Life

Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Proving Your Love Bringing a Spiritual Perspective to Daily Life

Article excerpt

Often, the biggest sources of confusion in dating and marriage are the mistaken assumptions people make about one another.

Both men and women are probably equally guilty in this area. But being a husband, I can say from experience that it can be tough when a man mistakenly assumes mutual understanding about something - and there really isn't any. Inevitably, the number one offense men seem to make is that we assume our girlfriends or wives completely understand that we love them. We take for granted that they see clearly - in exactly the way we do - how much we care for and respect them.

In relationships, as in most things, actions speak louder than words. As simple as that sounds, it's not always so easy to bring yourself to show love openly and often. Maybe you've heard that saying, "If you're going to talk the talk, you'd better be able to walk the walk!" In other words, actions mean more than good intentions or even promises. This is especially true when it comes to showing love for someone else. The Bible makes a timeless observation: "I may speak in tongues of men or of angels, but if I have no love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal" (I Cor. 13:1, "The Revised English Bible"). It takes effort to keep from becoming "as a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal." Actually demonstrating love unselfishly, in ways that wives or girlfriends (or husbands or boyfriends) understand clearly, takes resolve. It means that sometimes we have to confront fears about commitment. Or about rejection. Or it may mean that we have to swallow our pride if we've already experienced rejection, real or perceived. In contrast with all of that, unselfish love for another person is a very freeing thing. Loving unselfishly means that we love without keeping score, without being concerned about our own fear or pride. Expressing love for each other unselfishly can fortify a relationship as nothing else can! Why? Because God, divine Love, made His creation, including his sons and daughters, to reflect Him spiritually. The Christian Science textbook, by Mary Baker Eddy, says, "Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. …

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