Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Arm Children with a Better Weapon

Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Arm Children with a Better Weapon

Article excerpt

This month in my city, two 17-year-olds were shot and killed. Andre Wallace and Natasha Marsh were high school sweethearts. He was a football team captain and she was an honor-roll student. They were planning on going to West Virginia University together.

In the bleak days after their murders, I found myself thinking: This is going to keep happening because so many young people don't know how to avoid conflict.

While details are still few, we know that Andre was involved in some sort of scuffle after a high school basketball game. Punches were thrown and punches returned. The fight was broken up - but it wasn't over. Later that night, as the couple unloaded groceries from a car in front of Natasha's home, another car pulled up, and a spasm of bullets took the lives and future promise of Andre and Natasha.

I keep thinking, what if Andre had ignored that first punch? Walked away? I know it's against the street code of manhood. I also know that concept of manhood is getting young people killed. So, I'm not blaming Andre, I'm only saying conflict can't be resolved by engaging in it.

Adults should make greater efforts to redefine rules of respect. What if the shooter didn't feel that he had to defend his "rep" with a gun. What if his self-respect came from within, and mere words couldn't take it away. This self-respect, I believe, would lead to a deep respect for all life.

So far, though, all we adults who serve as mentors seem to be doing is telling the kids not to fight instead of showing them another way. I am no exception.

For three years, while working with a local youth group of two- dozen inner-city teenagers - half African- American, half Latino - I said "no fighting, and no put-downs" so many times, it became mere background noise. And I was frustrated, having to constantly step between fuming kids or send them home.

So last summer I hired two conflict mediators to come and teach us some basics. …

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