Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Learning (the Hard Way) to Trust God ; A Christian Science Perspective on Daily Life

Newspaper article The Christian Science Monitor

Learning (the Hard Way) to Trust God ; A Christian Science Perspective on Daily Life

Article excerpt

A number of years ago, I made a colossal mistake that nearly did me in emotionally.

To make a long story short, I got into a relationship I should have known to stay out of. In fact, I did know - I just didn't pay attention.

There were lots of warning signs along the way, but for reasons - excuses, really - too numerous to mention, I ignored them and plowed ahead. In the end, the warnings won out and I turned back, but not in time to spare myself considerable suffering.

In the wake of all the upheaval, I battled guilt, anger, and low self-esteem. I couldn't believe I'd been so willful. And as much as I hated to, I had to admit that I'd been dishonest, too - with myself and the other person. I wished I could somehow rewrite history, erasing the experience from my life altogether.

Instead, I had to move forward. So I worked hard to tease out where and why and how I'd gone wrong in an effort to learn large enough lessons to outweigh my guilt.

To some extent this worked. I realized, for example, that all along I'd received spiritual intuitions, or messages, from God. Sometimes, they were clear as a bell, as if God were saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it" (Isa. 30:21). I could have kicked myself for not paying attention, but at least it was comforting to know that God, good, had been urging me in the right direction.

I also learned that being a good person isn't enough to keep me out of trouble. I need God's help. It was egotistical of me to think I could rely solely on myself to know and do what was right. Instead, I needed to turn humbly to God for direction - and then to follow His lead, whether I wanted to or not.

These are key lessons, and I'm grateful for them. But teasing out truth from my mistakes didn't teach me the most important lesson of all. That came from noticing time after time that good things - big and little - kept happening to me. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.