Several years ago I discovered my husband was having an affair
with a mutual friend. Although I wanted to try counseling or prayer -
anything to repair our relationship - my husband preferred that we
go our separate ways.
I felt as though I were in a bad dream. My emotions swung from
anger to sadness, but I clung to the fact that I could trust God for
renewal and a new direction in my life. My deepest prayer the first
week of our separation was from a line in the chapter on marriage in
"Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy:
"Sorrow has its reward. It never leaves us where it found us" (p.
I also called a Christian Science practitioner to support my
prayers during this difficult time. I wasn't just concerned about
me, but also about the emotions that our children would feel with
their parents separated. The practitioner reassured me that I would
find "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding" (Phil.
4:7). He also urged me to look for "that which comforts, consoles,
and supports" ("Science and Health," p. 582).
Indeed, my family was a huge comfort during this time. So was my
church family. I hadn't told many people about my situation, and,
one Sunday, a member asked me where my husband was. Tears welled up
in my eyes as I replied, "We've separated." She hugged me and said,
"Thy Maker is thy husband, honey" (see Isa. 54:5). I felt the
strength of her love and the truth of that statement. And I knew in
my heart that all the love, support, and husbanding of God would
always be by my side and wouldn't leave me comfortless.
One morning, while commuting to work, my thoughts seemed noisier
than the weekly Christian Science Bible Lesson I was listening to in
the car. In a flood of tears, I turned off the CD and shouted: "I
have had enough! I've tried my best to be a good wife and mother. I
pray regularly and go out of my way to help others. I do not deserve
to have such an upheaval. I want this struggle to stop right now. I
want my home and family back intact!"
Then, when I'd finished shouting, God spoke to me. I didn't hear
the words audibly, but the message was clear, calm, and strong: You
are very good. I am lifting you up. Stop struggling and accept this
promise. This was such a dramatic moment for me. It occurred to me
that I had perceived everything wrong in this situation. I wasn't a
victim; I was being protected.
This new perception redeemed for me the time I'd spent married to
my husband. …