Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Anger over Putting Mom in Nursing Home

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Anger over Putting Mom in Nursing Home

Article excerpt

Dear Open Mind: My heart is breaking. My mother recently was the victim of a stroke and her condition is such that we find ourselves in the terrible situation of placing her in a nursing home. My health will not allow me to assume the position as caretaker. We are a large family and could probably manage if everyone wanted to be "responsible." I find myself terribly angry because it's as though Mom is just too much trouble! I know that a part of this anger is directed to me because I would like to keep her and can't because of my physical condition. Can you suggest someone for me to talk to about this?

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You are faced with a difficult task; how to best care for your mother. Have you made the decision for placement after investigating alternative options (e.g., home health care, senior companion)? Agencies assist families in setting up care options.

Talk to other families who have dealt with a nursing home placement.

Can they recommend good facilities?

Visit nursing homes and ask questions. A facility's social worker or administrator can answer questions. Remember, the nursing facility is not there to replace the family. It can, however, offer assistance through a staff of professionals where previously one caregiver handled everything.

Try to view such a placement as an opportunity for growth. A facility can offer a sense of security, medical care, therapies and social opportunities otherwise unavailable to your mother. When you are freed from delivering direct care, you will have more time and energy to provide the love, guidance and support as only a family member can. Barbara L. Prosser Administrator, MariaCare Center A Nursing Facility, Redbud, Ill.

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The decision to place a loved one in a long-term care facility can be very painful and emotionally charged. …

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