Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Channel-Surfing to Keep in the Holiday Spirit

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Channel-Surfing to Keep in the Holiday Spirit

Article excerpt

VISIONS of sugarplums dancing in my head? Don't bet on it.

For a TV writer, the Christmas season triggers a less playful flurry of visions. Join me for a little seasonal channel-surfing behind my fevered brow:

CLICK!

The face is familiar yet riotously out of place in the Christmas campaign for a chain of catalog retail stores. Prowling the aisles, buddying up with the sales clerks, is the company's new spokesman, Bill Cosby.

Yeah, right. The fabulously well-off actor-comedian who is, who isn't, who is, who isn't, who is?, who isn't? trying to buy NBC would have us believe he pinches pennies by playing Santa at his neighborhood Service Merchandise.

"Hmmm," you can imagine him musing. "Got the bargain-pack of gift wrap, a toaster oven for the wife. Now a little something for myself. Hey, a TV network would look GREAT under the tree!"

CLICK!

Speaking of NBC, corporate parent General Electric runs commercials touting its toll-free customer service number. You can call up any time with a question or problem concerning any GE product.

But does the GE product line include its network's TV shows?

"Customer assistance? Listen, `Blossom' wasn't working for me tonight. How do I recalibrate Mayim Bialik's timing so she pauses an extra beat after her jokes?"

Or: "Is there any truth to the rumor there's a product recall of `Saturday Night Live'?"

CLICK!

I haven't seen any ads for it, and you might have to go to Korea, where it's made, to buy one at the moment, but this year's perfect Christmas gift still has to be the Bio Television. Its price tag is a hefty $1,000, but along with keeping you in stitches at "The Mommies," the Bio Television might keep you a little bit healthier.

What happens is, the set converts the harmful electromagnetic waves most TVs emit into invigorating far-infrared rays that simulate sunlight.

With the Bio Television, your guppies will swim twice as fast as when their bowl sits in front of that old-fashioned set you're watching now. Flowers stay fresh longer. …

Search by... Author
Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

Oops!

An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.