Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Article excerpt

From now on, references to TONYA HARDING will be restricted to other parts of the section so as to preserve the "unique aesthetic ambience" of Eye Openers.

Let's go to press . . .

Eye Drops:

I want to be on record early: pitchers are ahead of the hitters, and vice versa.

Somebody call an exorcist. The ghost of RAMON TRICE has inhabited ERWIN CLAGGETT's body.

Just wondering: Does the concept of "we" or "us" ever come up when a ballplayer is interviewed?

Lookalikes: BILL McCLELLAN and any active member of the Irish Republican Army.

FYI: BERNIE FEDERKO will be the color analyst and JOHN PAUL DELLACAMERA the play-by-play dude for Houston's new entry in the International Hockey League.

Stat Chat: No one is happier NOLAN RYAN retired than FRANK THOMAS. In 12 career at-bats against Ryan, the "Big Whiff" struck out 11 times.

Hope BRIAN JORDAN isn't too hung up on football. His current salary agreement runs out after 1994. But he will remain property of the Cardinals through 1995 and a special covenant in his contract bars him from playing football "professional or otherwise" until the completion of that season.

Shouldn't JUD PERKINS be concentrating on writing more hit songs like "Blue-Suede Shoes"?

Did Florists Transworld Delivery invent Olympic figure skating?

Why are TRAVIS FORD and his Kentucky mates disciplined and not the referees who were gullible enough to put the wrong player at the free throw line THREE TIMES?

*****

Is there a golfer alive who hasn't, at one time or another, used a mulligan? Check that - is there an honest golfer alive who hasn't used a mulligan?

Author HENRY BEARD claims to have discovered diaries of THOMAS MULLIGAN, the fourth Earl of Murphy, who Beard contends invented the mulligan - the most famous name, he says, in golf. Among Beard's "discoveries" were Mulligan's rules of golf etiquette, which include:

Always replace divots in the fairways and rake footprints in the sand trap even if you have to move your ball to do so.

Always give faster players some reason, no matter how lame, for why you won't let them play through.

Never use another player's ball on the same hole where you stole it. …

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