Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Article excerpt

We have arena football and roller hockey, how about aerial golf? On this day in 1928, a round of high-altitude links actually took place. M.M. MERRILL and his partner, WILLIAM HAMMOND, captured the match-play showdown at Old Westbury Club on Long Island.

The rules are simple, really. One partner flies over each hole in a plane and releases the ball, landing it as close to the hole as possible. In golf vernacular, I believe this is referred to as a drop. The partner on the ground then plays the ball from where it falls, under more conventional means.

Merrill, the one in the plane, really elevated his game on this day. He hit all nine greens from above. Three of the opponent's "shots" missed the green and landed in the rough.

No doubt, the opponents went out and dropped a bucket of balls on the practice range before their next round.

*****

Eye Drops:

Message Recorder: Beep . . . Hi, Jennifer, it's Mrs. Jones from next door. Listen, turns out we won't need you to house-sit next week after all. Appreciate the offer, though.

That's all right, we didn't want the Timberwolves or anything.

Blues Update: Butchie, Richie, Ronnie, Bass gone. Brownie, Hedie, Cliffie, Courtsie, Laffie and Sergie are Cup-enheimers. Scottie must be signed or global nuclear war will break out.

Indy Update: "Say, Bubba, is them thar new tars you runnin' "?

"Naw, Earl, them's old tars."

When the ball season is over, anatomical experts from around the country will gather to examine JOHN HABYAN's arm and determine how he was able to pitch in every single game.

Research biologists, attempting to find a more powerful instrument to identify microscopic organisms, are hoping to break new ground using a pair of HARRY CARAY's glasses.

I'm sorry, I must have been digging in the yard, but when did ISIAH THOMAS become BEN KERNER?

I picked up a half-gallon carton of milk the other day and ANTHONY BONNER's picture was on it.

Is is possible that WILLIE AIKENS just might be a bit out of control?

*****

Caray's glasses are a tad thick, but his patience is as thin as ever. Caray, longtime Cardinals and current Chicago Cubs announcer, was in top form Monday night, when Cubs starter JOSE GUZMAN labored early against Los Angeles. …

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