Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing Eye Openers

Article excerpt

These opened eyes have noticed that DENNIS RODMAN has been getting a lot of pub lately. By coloring his hair and grabbing a lot of rebounds, Rodman has built quite a reputation as a tough guy.

But folks, this Rodman dude has nothing on JOE CHARBONEAU. He was known as Super Joe in Cleveland, where he hit 23 home runs and was the American League Rookie of the Year in 1980. Because of a bad back and other injuries, Charboneau's major-league baseball career lasted only three seasons.

However, few have been more distinguished. When Rodman was still in grade school, Charboneau used to dye his hair a different color every day. And when he was asked why, he answered, "Because I'm a punk rocker."

Tired of color schemes, Charboneau once shaved his head. That was before he removed a tattoo by using a razor blade. And then there was the story about him almost choking to death while trying to swallow a whole egg, a trick he decided to try after seeing a snake do it on a television special.

One time, Charboneau fixed his broken nose with pliers. Another time, he pulled an aching tooth with pliers. The man was dangerous with pliers in his hands.

The tales go on and on. There was the one about treating a bad cut by applying his own sutures with a needle and a fishing line. Then there was the time he quit baseball to play slow-pitch softball.

Some of the stories are true, some might be exaggerated, some sound totally ridiculous, but that was Joe Charboneau.

Charboneau, 39, has calmed down quite bit since then. He coaches baseball and does some television broadcasting in the Cleveland area. He spends a lot of time with his son, Tyson, and his daughter, Dannon.

Oh yeah, he named her Dannon because he liked the yogurt of that name.

*****

Speaking of Rodman, pretentious new San Antonio Spurs coach BOB HILL would like us all to believe that Dennis the Menace is just an average Joe.

Hill recently gave this assessment of Rodman: "We're going to treat him like we treat the rest of the players. He's not any different from anyone else"

And you know, once you get past the fuschia-colored hair, six body piercings, including one in his navel and one in his nose, and the occasional need to carry a loaded rifle, he really is.

*****

Eye Drops:

- You can sleep now. The Solheim Cup is ours.

- Is the momentum-crushing, program-deflating, vomit-bag-dispensing, meet you-at-Lou's Palace fumble on the goal line in the Mizzou offensive playbook, or what?

- MATT McKEON shoots, he scoooooooores!

- If I understand the parameters of the Heisman Trophy correctly, you cannot be the best player in college football unless you are a running back or quarterback.

- One thought for SHAWN BRADLEY: steroids.

- Let me get this straight: Quarterbacks such as ERIK KRAMER, BILLY JOE TOLLIVER and JIM EVERETT play in the National Football League. …

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