Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing upon Further Review

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Morning Briefing upon Further Review

Article excerpt

With the Christmas shopping season fast approaching, the Upon Further Review staff has spotted the perfect gift for any sports fan - silk-screened photo images of TONYA HARDING created by somebody named DEFORRESTT, who refused to reveal his real name or age.

Tonya took a stretch limousine to the Portland art gallery showing the work and raved about it. "It kind of brings out a little heart and soul in each picture of me that you don't get on TV," Harding said.

Or, for that matter, in Penthouse magazine.

Prices range from $5,000 to $30,000. That's a little steep, but Blues season-ticket holders could easily buy in with their ticket refunds.

Get your order in quickly because only 375 pieces are planned. Elsewhere in the weird world of sports:

The UFR Bad Sport of the Week is elfin Notre Dame football coach LOU HOLTZ, who shamelessly ran up the score in a 58-21 demolition of Navy. With Notre Dame up 51-21 with 1 minute 45 seconds left to play, the Irish ran a fake punt 29 yards to reach the Navy 10.

First the Irish sheepishly downed the ball twice. Then Notre Dame suddenly decided it needed to score. Quarterback GUS ORNSTEIN threw two passes and completed the second one to tight end LEON WALLACE for a touchdown.

"It was a big surprise," Wallace said. Why? Some thought Notre Dame still had some class.

At the will call window, ELVIS has never picked up any tickets left by former Falcons coach (and current race car driver/football analyst) JERRY GLANVILLE.

"Maybe he's a Steelers fan?" Glanville said. "But I don't know. He doesn't pick up his racing tickets, either. You don't suppose it's true, do you? He couldn't be dead, could he?"

UFR Stupid Injury of Week: Suns forward CHARLES BARKLEY went to an ERIC CLAPTON concert, rubbed some skin lotion on his face and AAAAAIIIEEEEE! some got in his eyes, burning his corneas.

"I never really had any vision loss," Barkley said. "It's just that my eyes were on fire."

UFR's Story Lead of Week, from the Copley news service:

CHICAGO - All that was missing were GARY COLEMAN and dwarf-tossers.

UFR's No Kidding Lead of Week:

LONDON (Reuter) - British Royal Navy surgeons said Friday they had found new evidence that boxing can cause brain damage.

And you thought hockey fans were struggling with the lockout. Read this:

NEW DELHI, India (AP) - Cricket fans in many Indian cities sobbed and beat their chests in grief Wednesday at news that the world's highest Test wicket taker, KAPIL DEV, had retired.

Can we all just calm down?

The Fone Call: UFR Associate Editor D.J. FONE of Arnold returned with his "Sure-fire Signs You're Fed Up With Sports' Labor Problems." They include:

On street corners, you see athletes holding "Will Endorse For Food" signs.

You can only buy hockey sweaters that have blue collars.

At a collectibles show, you find BRETT HULL's Blues Application For Employment.

You ask the Mrs. …

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