Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Define Problem, Then Take Action

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Define Problem, Then Take Action

Article excerpt

WHICH relationship in your life is currently causing you the most heartburn? Is it with your mate? Friend? Boss? Teen-age son? Grown daughter? Neighbor? Fellow worker?

Karen has trouble with her 14-year-old daughter. From the sound of things, the daughter has little respect for her mother. When Karen tries to talk to her daughter, her daughter says, "Go away. We have nothing in common. Talk to one of your friends."

"All we do is fight," says Karen of her relationship with her daughter. "I hate it."

Jim is struggling with feelings of hurt and anger over an issue with his co-worker, Matt. In the past, Jim and Matt have worked very well together. About three months ago Jim was assigned to work with Bill, a new man in the department. His assignment was to get Bill up to speed and teach him the ropes. The relationship between Jim and Bill worked well, and it was evident that the two were becoming friends.

Several days ago at a meeting Matt announced that he was going to be working with Bill on a project that had just come in. Normally Jim and Matt would have worked on the project. Jim wonders what Matt's motivation was for choosing Bill. Was it to punish him for becoming friends with Bill? Was it to neutralize his relationship with Bill? Was it to make him feel odd-person-out? Ken's wife is causing him a good deal of stress because she's not sure if she wants to stay married.

When I talk to Ken, he admits that he hasn't been the easiest person to live with. He puts in too many hours at work, which leaves his wife responsible for the children. He watches too many sporting events. He's a clutterer and doesn't pick up. He drinks too much.

Lou says, "My son is the one causing me the most grief. He'd graduated from college, and now he's living in an apartment and working. But I'm subsdizing him because he can't make it on his own. …

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