Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Estelle Says, Beware of Aquarians Bearing Drinks and Confidential to Leo: Flee While You Can

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Estelle Says, Beware of Aquarians Bearing Drinks and Confidential to Leo: Flee While You Can

Article excerpt

Beware and Caution: Horoscopes (this one particularly) have no basis in scientific fact and should be read not for guidance but for entertainment. From the look of the winking star in Ursa Major, Miss Van Driver is certain you will be entertained by this installment of GET OUT's own frolic through the Zodiac.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): How 'BOUT Them Rams! As you discovered Sunday when the quarks were crashing into one another, honesty is a very, very good policy but not always the best, especially in answering questions such as What Do You Think Of The New (Husband, Wife, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Paramour, Life Partner, Haircut)? Despair not, however, my dear kid, you will probably make a new best friend sooner or later. Beware of Aquarians bearing drinks. Stand Up, Sit Down, Fight, Fight, Fight!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Instead of thinking of yourself as the kind of bull that charges men in flashy suits, be Ferdinand, smell the flowers, embrace those New Age postures - caring instead of bullish, sharing rather than snorting, and abstemious when it comes to that grass. After the path of destruction you have left behind since the moon waxed, we would all appreciate more constructive behavior. Don't pick the wart.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Sit down and have a talk with your alter ego, and inform him/her/it that the time has come to pull yourselves together and make some plans. If you hadn't been so ambivalent, you would have gotten that (job, date, lipo). For a secret message, put together every second letter in the last sentence of the Libra entry in this month's horoscope. Call your mother.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Just because you didn't get caught this time doesn't mean you won't in the future - and that could mean something as simple as a slap on the wrist or as dramatic as a few months in the slammer. Your former Scorpio protector will no longer come to your assistance. Look for the slightly opened door. It could mean riches, love, new clothes, a great laptop with more bytes than a mosquito farm, a better attitude and regularity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The person from your past you least want to see is headed your way with a new spouse who recently got religion, two Rottweilers, a trailer, three kids under 4, varicose veins, a mynah bird and a lot of big plans and dreams that include you in them. Prepare a hook-up, secure a Johnny-on-the-Spot ... or, draconian as it may be, skip town. If you do, ignore Horace Greeley: Do ANYTHING but go west. That's the direction THEY'RE coming from.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This is your month. All those all clothes you saved are retro and cool. Every word you utter will be witty. Every investment you make will be sound. You will lose weight and build muscle without even trying. The leaves that fall on your property will be golden. …

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