Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Bob Dole Ii: Charming but Lacks Credibility

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Bob Dole Ii: Charming but Lacks Credibility

Article excerpt

AS you may have noticed, Bob Dole II, a real cool and likable grownup guy, has been nominated as the Republican Party's candidate for president.

This is not the same man as Bob Dole I, who has become a familiar political figure in recent months and years - a sharp-tongued and irritable elderly man with little tolerance for fools and media yappers.

No, this cranky Bob Dole I no longer exists, and Republicans are happy. Good riddance, they say.

That's understandable. Bob Dole II is a lot easier for the consumer-viewer, also known as the voter, to tolerate.

For one thing, this Bob II is a lot younger. I don't know exactly how much younger - 100 years? - but take my word for it. Old Bob was kind of a Glenn Miller-Andrews Sisters kind of guy. But New Bob? At any moment, he might start singing a rock song. It might be early Bill Haley or Earl Bostick, but it's a start.

New Bob isn't nearly as rigid a person as Old Bob. Old Bob was kind of stuck in his ways. He believed that you don't spend more money than you take in, a quaint notion.

But this younger and more refreshing New Bob doesn't have such hangups. You have a piece of plastic in your wallet? Hey, you got it, flaunt it.

The New Bob is tolerant of just about anyone, even those who described the Old Bob as kind of a political frump.

Old Bob might have once jabbed his thumb in the eye of nimble Jack Kemp, who wouldn't even endorse Old Bob when the only alternative was a yacht jockey named Forbes.

But New Bob is more of a '90s kind of guy who can shrug off such minor impertinences.

Maybe Jack Kemp did once spit in his eye, but that's nothing that can't be easily cleared up with a piece of Kleenex.

And maybe the rest of the Republican Party was only recently asking itself, "How did we get stuck with this geezer?" But that was the Old Bob, not the New Bob. The Republican Party now loves the New Bob. That's because this is the Instant New and Improved Republican Party.

This isn't Ye Olde GOP, grousing about abortion, fretting about prayer in the schools, darkly mumbling about all the unfair advantages given to - what do Republicans call them - blacks, Afro-Americans or Negroes? …

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