Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Place Your Bets: A Game of Chance on Foreign Policy

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Place Your Bets: A Game of Chance on Foreign Policy

Article excerpt

In the hype before the Super Bowl, The Associated Press ran an article about "crazy betting." Las Vegas was not only giving odds on whether Green Bay would beat New England but whether Shaquille O'Neal would grab more rebounds that day than the Patriots would score points, or whether Brett Favre in the Super Bowl would have more passing yards than Tiger Woods would have strokes in the Phoenix Open.

Now that the Super Bowl is behind us, Las Vegas will surely be looking for even crazier bets. I say bring foreign policy to Vegas. Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets:

Which will end first, the designated hitter rule in the American League or the American embargo on Cuba? Take the embargo. American League owners are even more pigheaded than Fidel Castro. Who will have to give back more money this year, the Democratic National Committee or Dennis Rodman? This will be close. They are both around $1.2 million already. But go with the DNC. It has even more weird stuff in its closet than Rodman. Will President Hafez al-Assad of Syria lecture the new secretary of state, Madeleine Albright, about the history of Syria at their first meeting in Damascus longer than the longest Major League Baseball game on record? Take Assad. The longest game is 8 hours 6 minutes, but Assad's season-average lecture is 9 hours 38 minutes. Michael Jordan will average more points per game this season (he's currently at 30) than Bill Clinton will have votes in the Senate in favor of NATO expansion. Take Jordan. Even in an off year he'll outscore NATO. The Jamaican bobsled team will win an Olympic gold medal before Japan will deregulate its economy. A no-brainer - take the Jamaicans. The United States will send troops to intervene in more new hot spots this year than NFL owners will move their franchises to new cities during this off-season. Take the NFL owners. They're greedy, Clinton's cautious. Bibi Netanyahu will call Yasser Arafat either "my friend" or "my partner" more times this year than the number of times Sandy Koufax pitched on Yom Kippur. This bet's interesting. Koufax never pitched on Yom Kippur, so even one endearment from Bibi to Yasser wins a jackpot. …

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