Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

A Horse of a Different Color Visions of the Broncos - and Their New Bad Uniforms - Leave Us Picking and Choosing

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

A Horse of a Different Color Visions of the Broncos - and Their New Bad Uniforms - Leave Us Picking and Choosing

Article excerpt

Up next for the Rams, the Broncos. The NEW LOOK Broncos. No more Orange Crush. No more Big D and the berserk horse on the helmet. The result is being universally panned.

That got us to thinking about bad uniforms in the National Football League. Which got us to thinking about good uniforms in the NFL. Which got us to thinking about helmets.

Which got us to thinking that if only football's fashion designers would stick to a few simple color rules, we'd have little reason for such stories. So let's start with some advice on colors to avoid, then move on to our picks and pans. Colors To Avoid: 1. Orange. "You must be careful with orange," notes fashion plate Jeff Gordon, who earned that title only because his wife has some mighty fine-looking Noritake dinnerware. "I liked the old Broncos Orange Crush. And the Bears keep it under control." 2. Purple. Each sporting league or conference should be allowed one - and only one - team wearing purple. The Minnesota Vikings and Northwestern Wildcats have dibs. Everyone else should change. 3. Teal. Any Teal Team is ineligible for consideration - good or bad. Teal died with the interior decorators of the '80s. Now, since the Rams are playing the New Look Broncos on Sunday, why not start with ... The Bad 1. Denver Broncos: This week's Rams opponent is a near-unanimous choice. Steve Bisheff, columnist for the Orange County Register put it best: "I don't know who designed those new Denver Broncos uniforms. I just know I would never hire him to paint my house." Note the wide stripes on the sides. They don't do much to enhance the not-so-trim physique of an offensive lineman. 2. Baltimore Ravens: Purple. PURPLE. We know that purple sells but RAVENS ARE BLACK, OK? Besides, as stated previously, the Vikes have the NFL's exemption. And those curvy, sissy numbers don't exactly inspire fear. Helmet logo is way too complicated. 3. Tampa Bay Bucs: One man's pewter is another man's dirty white, which is never a good idea, unless you're trying to hide the dirt. The uniform numbers just don't have that pop on the TV screen. And, as Tampa Bay is everyone's up-and-coming team of destiny this year, they'll be getting LOTS of highlight time. Everyone's going to notice and think the equipment manager forgot to presoak in Biz. 4. Seattle Seahawks: Blue, green, silver and white. Too many mid-range colors. They look kind of mushy on the TV screen. Play that way, too. 5. Detroit Lions: The team refers to that color as "Hawaiian Blue." Now, why is a team from a northern Great Lakes state wearing a color reminiscent of the South Pacific? Why not Lake Michigan Blue and Steelworker Gray? Others receiving votes: New Orleans Saints (really bad gold) and Atlanta Falcons (because they can't make up their minds what their colors are). …

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