Newspaper article Evansville Courier & Press (2007-Current)

Homespun Lawyer Fears Flocks of 'TorTs' ; Good Morning

Newspaper article Evansville Courier & Press (2007-Current)

Homespun Lawyer Fears Flocks of 'TorTs' ; Good Morning

Article excerpt

It struck me as I pondered this year's Halloween prank. The festivity lines' em up at your door: Trick-or-Treaters. Or as I now call them in this litigious society: TorTs. Let me back up a bit.

I don't think that I am nearly cool enough to pull off a good costume, or else "Lurch" would greet the kiddos at the door. But the kiddos these days have it too, too easy. Can't just give them the candy, and I am tired of trying to talk them into taking a nice book instead of the chocolate-coated couch-smearer. Besides, I couldn't find 17 copies of "Wuthering Heights."

I got into the Halloween goodies the other night as I pondered the problem. Your humble narrator tossed and turned almost until dawn, (almost two hours past the bedtime of a second-shift newspaper type) unable to sleep from the exquisite rush from sugar, cocoa and bad peanut butter.

Now, one of the brighter stars in the journalistic constellation that is the Courier & Press has assigned a penalty for parents who leave children unattended: The kids are to be given an espresso and a kitty.

But to inflict that, or a candy-induced spell of hyperactivity on the children of another? Heinous behavior, I reckoned, and certainly indicative of wanton cruelty. …

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