Newspaper article The Tuscaloosa News

Tusk Editor's Note: 4/26

Newspaper article The Tuscaloosa News

Tusk Editor's Note: 4/26

Article excerpt

So it might seem Tusk is jumping the gun -- cannon, phaser, photon torpedo, adamantium claw -- with a summer movie preview in April, as we're still showering and suffering the cruelty and coming what will.

But folks, look: Thursday at 9 p.m., opening at a Cineplex near me: "Iron Man 3."

That's a quintessential summer movie: It's got at least one superhero, a muscular budget for marketing, and a solid digit after the main title.

Many barbs cling to Hollywood around this time of year: too many explosions; not enough wits. Too many sequels; not enough original tales. Too soon, too soon. We could spend years and thousands of lives investigating the reasons behind such beliefs, but here we are in a nutshell or other preferred form of compact delivery device: It's all true.

Summer movies are about stuff blowing up real good, sensitivity to Boston be damned. Stuff blows up best when it's familiar stuff. And the sooner we get started overspending on popcorn, the better, for the popcorn-selling industry at least. Note to self: In your next life, grab all the popcorn franchises. Pretty sure that $5 bucket takes about 12 cents' worth of materials and maybe another two bits for power and effort.

But. And here comes the big but.

Complaining about tendencies towards louder, faster and dumber -- there is actually a "Fast and Furious 6" coming (May 24), and no, the F&F team hasn't yet assembled dialogue or script enough to diaper even a small child -- is disingenuous at best, outright consarned, ding-dagnabbit poppycock at worst.

Because if you don't pay it, they won't build it.

That wasn't as catchy as I'd hoped.

Fussing about the quality of movies made available to us is a bit like whining about a story "selling newspapers." Who exactly are these theoretical hyperbolic newspapers being sold to? Fungal life forms? Advanced orangutans? Moon men? Or you and your pals?

So if you don't want stuff to blow up real loud and good and fast and soon, just don't, you know, go. Go to the movies, by all means, but pay for the better ones you claim to want to see. If at the end of your week, you're a little bit weary and maybe in need of a good, silly time at the flicks, there's no need to feel bad about investing in a J. …

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