Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

Remember, It's Just a Game

Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

Remember, It's Just a Game

Article excerpt

I'm not sure when we completely lost our minds -- and I'm not talking March Madness here, it's more of a year-round mania -- but I link it to the military-industrial complex, the culture of celebrity, the Internet and energy drinks.

Look out your window, dear readers: That thick layer of smoke hanging above us is not pea-soup smog, it's a societal malaise determined to darken our horizon for generations to come.

Our egalitarian United States is descending into an evil-minded Sports Nation.

Three fathers -- three fathers -- have been arrested this month at youth sporting events:

* Joseph Cordes, 42, faces a charge of disturbing the peace after allegedly pointing a laser at the eyes of a goalie opposing his daughter's high school hockey team in Winthrop, Mass.

* Timothy Lee Forbes, 34, faces charges of disorderly conduct, assault-and-battery and felony mayhem for allegedly attacking the coach of a Catholic Youth Organization pre-teen basketball team that beat his son's team in Springfield, Mass. During the postgame attack, one of the coach's ears was partially bitten off.

* Shelly Miller, 37, of Michigan City, Ind., faces felony battery charges after allegedly punching an assistant middle-school basketball coach into an unconscious state, apparently upset that the coach made his daughter run extra laps after practice.

To review, we have a laser pointer, an ear biter and an old- fashioned brawler, all acting, I suppose, in the best interests of their children.

Where exactly do we go from here?

Well, first we have the difficult task of figuring out how we got to here from there. Or to quote Cosmo Castorini from the 1987 film "Moonstruck" -- after his wife Rose inquires about his whereabouts - - "I don't know where I've been and I don't know where I'm going."

A DirecTV ad campaign tells us that being left on hold by your cable company eventually leads to being left helplessly in a ditch. Similarly, Couch Slouch is trying to connect the dots to trace our journey from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to the Pacers- Pistons brawl at The Palace of Auburn Hills. …

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