Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

A Tale of Two Loafers to Keep You on Your Toes

Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

A Tale of Two Loafers to Keep You on Your Toes

Article excerpt

This is the story of a husband who became distracted - as hard- working husbands sometimes do - and wore two different brown loafers to work, one with tassels and one without.

No better time exists for this story because as I write the nation is distracted by voting in the midterm elections. As with all election days, people are waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were.

Here is my dilemma: In the absence of prophetic powers, it is impossible to know the winners beforehand. Was the successful party the one that likes to shut down the government? Or was it the party that makes the other party feel like it has to shut down the government?

This is for you to know today. All I know with certainty is that in some quarters weeping and gnashing of teeth will occur post- election - and not just among the people who make the political ads on TV and are forced to return to honest employment.

So in the interest of smiling bravely through our tears, if tears they be, let us then consider the husband who got off on the wrong foot just the other day.

He did not know that he was wearing two different shoes until midmorning, No co-worker alerted him. As it was just a normal workaday morning in America, everybody was completely oblivious. He just happened to glance down and noticed tassels.

That's funny, he said to himself, I did not mean to put on my party shoes. Then he looked at the other shoe and noticed the absence of tassels - and he realized that at least he had gotten it half right. He also noticed that in every other aspect these brown loafers were completely different styles.

He was a little embarrassed but only a little, because this is America and people wear all sorts of outlandish clothing without anybody saying anything. Just visit any golf course to confirm this observation.

So he went on with his day. He heard no guffaws in the cafeteria, saw no stares in the street as he walked to his Rotary Club meeting. Once there, the Rotarians made no jokes at his expense - and as a group they love a joke. His feet just weren't drawing any interest.

By midafternoon, he decided to risk telling his wife. …

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