Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

Wedding Gave Her a Clue about Beau

Newspaper article Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA)

Wedding Gave Her a Clue about Beau

Article excerpt

DEAR NATALIE: Many years ago, my old boyfriend John (not his real name) was invited to a wedding by our dear friend Steve and his fiancee Julie. Julie didn't want John to attend the wedding with me, even though we had been together for a few years. She wanted him to go with one of her single friends. Why? I am not sure.

The invite came addressed only to John (with no mention of me). John and I got into an argument about this because he refused to ask Steve if I could come (even though we were all friends). John ended up attending the wedding alone, and I dumped him over this. Fast-forward, Steve and Julie are divorced, and I asked Steve if he knew about what had happened. He said he had no idea Julie did that and would have insisted that I come to the wedding had he known. All these years later it still bothers me. Was I right to have dumped John over this? - NEEDS TO KNOW

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: This is one of those situations in life that seems clear after the fact, but in the moment appears muddy and confusing. Your boyfriend should have taken you to the wedding. It's also weird that Julie was trying to come between you and John (for whatever reason), but apparently it worked. In a way, Julie did you a favor. If a guy you're with isn't willing to stand with you over something this small, there is no way he would take your side when the waves get really rough. In fact, you should send Julie a bouquet of flowers thanking her for sparing you years of agony. The card could read something like: "The best revenge is a happy life."

DEAR NATALIE: I have been invited to a wedding by very close family friends. However, they are also close to a relative I no longer associate with for very strong personal reasons. I don't want to be rude and ask the host whether this other family member is invited, or whether they have RSVPed. However, I want to attend and am discontented by the fact that to avoid confrontation and awkwardness, I can't. It is especially troubling because the couple getting married are also related to the family member I have issues with. …

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