Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

A Tour of TrendyTown Foods: Where Pretensions Meet Prices

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

A Tour of TrendyTown Foods: Where Pretensions Meet Prices

Article excerpt

Good evening, and welcome to TrendyTown Food Solutions. Would you care to avail yourself of our SUV valet parking service?

I don't drive an SUV. Do you valet park regular cars?

No. As you know, we want to bring you the finest and most sophisticated grocery experience possible while creating an atmosphere conducive to bringing a truly staggering monetary return to our company. Please note the pleasant wood trim, the dark green accents and of course the music piped in unobtrusively over our organically created sound system.

It's lovely. Mozart, right?

Right you are. Nothing gets you in the mood to overpay for your groceries like Mozart. Same with Vivaldi. We play "Spring" from "The Four Seasons" about 12 times a day. It has driven some of our sales associates to breakdowns, but only a few. Most of us love it. We hear it in our sleep, night after night.

Are you actually planning to accompany me through the store? I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Don't be. It's one of the services we offer here at TrendyTown. We're here to add to the personalized shopping experience.

Um

In our beer aisle, we have a big sale today on a South American beer called chicha.

Oh, I've read about that! They chew on corn and spit it out, and the saliva helps it ferment into beer.

That's why it's such a big sale. And at least it's gluten-free.

Is this really an entire aisle devoted to hemp?

Oh, yes. We have hemp cereal, hemp tofu, barbecued hemp. We have hemp-flavored teas, hemp juice, hemp milk and hemp wine. Over here is a bin of our Carob-Frosted Hemp Puffs. We have spam, eggs, sausage and hemp. That's not got much hemp in it. And here is our bin of hemp seeds.

Can you plant them and ?"

No, but we'd like you to think you could. Plus, they're gluten- free.

That meat looks interesting. "Nez de vache." What is it?

We just got that in last week. It's a specialty meat, it's gluten- free, and it has already become a huge seller for us.

Let's see, my French is a little shaky. …

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