Newspaper article The Record (Bergen County, NJ)

One Tag Sale Away from the Man Cave You Crave?

Newspaper article The Record (Bergen County, NJ)

One Tag Sale Away from the Man Cave You Crave?

Article excerpt

I went with a friend to a tag sale last weekend. This is not really my preferred way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but my radio kept telling me it was going to rain, rain, rain -- even though, as you may have noticed, it didn't, didn't, didn't.

Bad radio!

An online ad for the sale, which was going on for three days, said, "SELLING CONTENTS OF MAN CAVE," which made it sound a lot more interesting than "Selling the same old junk you'll find at every other tag sale this weekend."

By definition, a man cave is a room or space devoid of any feminine sensibility, so I figured this sale would be a good opportunity for me to pick up a beer cooler or two, and stock up on pool cues, lava lamps, sports memorabilia, hand grenades, motorcycle helmets, bulletproof vests and torn black leather chairs patched with shiny black electrical tape.

My friend Peter -- a fellow MAN who hadn't made other plans on Saturday because of all that rain, rain, rain -- came with me. And, like so many males who are divorced, separated or otherwise unattached, he wasn't quite sure what else he needed in his home to make it any more uncomfortable for women than it already is.

My home is similarly ill-equipped for the fairer sex, particularly my bathroom, which has a sink, a toilet, a bathtub and, well, that's about it. No vanity. No cabinet. No countertop.

(To a girly-girl, a powder room without a countertop is about as welcoming as a Port-o-Potty filled with rattlesnakes.)

This missing amenity has caused more than one woman to ask, on more than 100 occasions: "Where do you put your ... stuff?"

"Stuff?"

"Yes! Of course. Your stuff. You know, like when you're getting ready to go somewhere and you need to DO stuff."

Unlike all those Disney cartoons we watched as kids, real live women aren't dressed, powdered and rouged by butterflies and bluebirds -- although I did know a woman once who always looked as if her makeup had been applied by a woodpecker.

They need to spread out.

I, on the other hand, have no hair to fuss with and don't do much in the way of powdering, rouging or manscaping. So, basically, I keep my bathroom minimal.

Besides, the room is only 5 feet by 6 feet. And, in addition to the sink, toilet and tub, all I have in there is a small light fixture (to the right of the medicine cabinet) and an old, painfully unattractive rug. …

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