Newspaper article THE JOURNAL RECORD

Early Bird Special?

Newspaper article THE JOURNAL RECORD

Early Bird Special?

Article excerpt

The city of Sarasota is considering a curfew to keep young people from hanging around the streets late at night.

While I, like most mature Americans, believe that we should do everything in our power to make life miserable for young people, I'm not sure that a curfew will have all that much impact.

For one thing, there aren't that many young people in Sarasota. In fact, you can drive around town for hours before you spot anyone under the age of 60. Since I'm only 43, I worry that I might be among those "young people" that the city commissioners want to keep off the streets after midnight. (Not that it makes all that much difference since I'm usually asleep by 9:30 anyway, but it's the principle of the thing.)

So, basically, you're talking about a curfew that affects maybe half a dozen people, 13 tops during spring break. Barney Fife could enforce this baby.

If the city commission really wants to do something worthwhile, it should put a curfew on senior citizens. While it is true that you don't see a lot of septuagenarians hanging around dimly lit street corners at 2 o'clock in the morning, senior citizens can be a public nuisance and it's high time we did something about it.

The first thing we should do is forbid senior citizens from attending shows at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall. Nothing spells trouble like a crowd of retirees cranked up on Steve and Eydie or the McGuire Sisters. It makes the mosh pit at an Offspring concert seem like an evening stroll through Selby Gardens.

And heaven help you if you happen to be out on the road when a Roger Whittaker show lets out. Thousands of senior citizens, their senses addled by a Born Free, Autumn Leaves, Greensleeves medley, fishtailing out of the Van Wezel parking lot at speeds approaching 5 mph and pouring into the passing lane of U.S. 41. I, personally, can't remember being so horrified since they unveiled the design for the new Selby library. …

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