Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Short Takes on April Fools, Disney Disasters, Traffic Tangles and Dilly Do's and Don'ts

Newspaper article St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)

Short Takes on April Fools, Disney Disasters, Traffic Tangles and Dilly Do's and Don'ts

Article excerpt

Funny and flat (thumbs up)

Elon Musk might turn out to be the biggest April fool of them all. Days after one of his Tesla company's electric cars was involved in a fatal crash while on autopilot, Musk tweeted out a series of April Fools' jokes that Tesla was bankrupt. It was a particularly risky joke following the 22 percent stock market decline Tesla experienced in March.

Lexus, on the other hand, offered a doozy of an April Fools' joke, which aired as a real commercial on "Saturday Night Live" last week. Lexus presented the next level in luxury automobile transportation -- the "Genetic Select." This car is so personalized, it requires a DNA test so it can be built to your style and performance preferences. Prescription windshields eliminate the need for eyeglasses. And you no longer require a key -- all you have to do is lick the steering wheel's DNA sensor. Now that's an April Fools' joke.

Dumped by Disney (thumbs down)

St. Louis' Emily Jackson wasn't feeling the magic when she got to the Disney cruise line's ship in Miami. There were Mickey and Donald and … armed escorts.

Jackson, 22, is 25 weeks pregnant and had her doctor's clearance to go on the cruise. She was set to sail with nine family members when she was turned away at the Disney Magic terminal, where women more than 24 weeks pregnant aren't allowed to sail.

With their luggage already on the ship, Jackson told the Miami Herald, "they sent out guys with AR-15s" and a canine unit to make clear that the policy was non-negotiable.

The family received a refund. A company spokeswoman said that Miami-Dade police handled security. But that special touch of magic? Pure Disney.

Smells like spring spirit (thumbs down)

When downtown's paid cheerleader Missy Kelley warns, "It's a nightmare," it's time to pay attention. Kelley, head of Downtown STL Inc., was talking about the possibility of traffic delays on opening day with all the construction going on around Ballpark Village.

Curiously, the Missouri Department of Transportation recommended that drivers on construction-laden Interstate 44 use Interstate 64 (Highway 40) as an alternate route. That's a big laugh, because eastbound 64 was down to one or two lanes near the Vandeventer exit, reducing motorists to a miles-long crawl during rush hour. And that doesn't take into account the shift of a 2,165-foot-long section of the Poplar Street Bridge.

Traffic, weather and the Redbirds. Ahh, springtime in St. Louis.

Dilly do's and don'ts (thumbs up)

The Augusta National Golf Course takes itself very, very seriously. TV announcers are instructed to say "bunkers," not "sand traps." The course's signature egg-salad sandwiches come wrapped in green lest any unsightly white napkins escape hyper-vigilant trash wardens.

So it was entirely believable when the British golf website, Bunkered Online, reported that security guards at this week's Masters Tournament (which is, you may have heard, a tradition like none other) had been instructed to eject anyone in the crowd (sorry, "gallery") who yells the phrase "Dilly-dilly" as golfers strike the ball. …

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