The Story of a Wonder Man: Being the Autobiography of Ring Lardner

By Margaret Freeman; Ring Lardner | Go to book overview

Chapter 25
Even Judge Ogle Smiled

IN recounting the trial I forgot to include a couple of examples of the sparkling repartee between counsel for the opposing sides, which, I believe, are well worth publication. At one stage of the proceedings, my lawyer, Attorney Dumb, made the remark that Hugga's lawyer, Mr. Wheedle, looked as if he had forgotten to shave that morning.

"So do you!" replied Attorney Wheedle without an instant's hesitation.

"I'll bet your wife wishes she was single," said Attorney Dumb.

"Yours is!" retorted his opponent.

Not long after this tour de force Mr. Wheedle objected to Mr. Dumb's habit (amounting almost to a knack) of snapping the various court attendants' suspenders. It really was annoying, both to the attendants and the rest of us; the noise was deafening.

____________________
Editor's note: Consult William Holabird on "What Shall We Do With Suspender Snappers?"

-138-

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