never gave me more than five drachmas a time, and for that he seemed to regard me as his personal property. But his feelings for me never went at all deep. There was never any question of sighing or weeping or turning up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. He merely slept with me from time to time - and at pretty long intervals too.

Then one night I refused to let him in - I'd got an artist called Callides with me, and he'd given me ten drachmas. Well, all he did at the time was go off shouting abuse, but when several days went by without his hearing from me, Demophantus began to get rather hot under the collar. When he reached boiling-point, he suddenly burst into the house one day - he'd been watching for the door to open - and started crying, and hitting me, and threatening to murder me, and tearing my clothes, and goodness knows what else. Finally he gave me a whole talent, on the strength of which I lived for eight months exclusively with him. His wife told everyone I'd given him an aphrodisiac and sent him crazy with it. But all I'd actually given him was a dose of jealousy. So I suggest you use the same prescription on Gorgias. He'll be quite a rich young man when his father dies.


THE RESULTS OF SHOOTING A LINE

Scene: A public house in Athens. Two soldiers on leave, Leontichus and Chenidas, are sitting having drinks with two girls that they have picked up, Hymnis and Grammis.

LEONTICHUS: Tell her about that battle with the Galatians, Chenidas. Tell her how I led a cavalry-charge on that white horse of mine. They were no cowards, those Galatians, but they all turned tail at the sight of me. There wasn't a single man that stood his ground. So then I let fly with my javelin

-43-

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Satirical Sketches
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Lucian - Satirical Sketches *
  • Contents *
  • Introduction *
  • Talks *
  • The Dream or a Chapter of My Life 23
  • Zeuxis or Centaurs and Elephants *
  • Sketches *
  • Conversations in Low Society *
  • Mother Knows Best or a Young Girl's Guide to Success *
  • The Language of True Love 41
  • The Results of Shooting a Line 43
  • Conversations in High Society *
  • The New Sleeping Partner *
  • Zeus is Indisposed 51
  • The Reluctant Parent 53
  • A Beauty Competition 55
  • Conversations in the Underworld *
  • No Baggage Allowance *
  • Menippus Gets Away with It 72
  • A Slight Change of Sex 74
  • How to Enjoy Life after Seventy 75
  • Charon Sees Life *
  • Menippus Goes to Hell *
  • Icaromenippus or Up in the Clouds *
  • An Interview with Hesiod *
  • Some Awkward Questions for Zeus *
  • Philosophies Going Cheap *
  • Fishing for Phonies or the Philosophers' Day out *
  • The Pathological Liar or the Unbeliever *
  • Stories *
  • Alexander or the Bogus Oracle *
  • The True History *
  • Notes and Glossary *
  • Notes *
  • Glossary *
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