MENIPPUS: That's all I wanted to know. But no doubt you had a uterus and everything?

TIRESIAS: Obviously I did.

MENIPPUS: But in course of time your uterus disappeared, and your vagina closed up, and your breasts got whisked away, and you developed male genitals and grew a beard?

TIRESIAS: I don't quite see the point of that question. You seem doubtful whether it ever happened at all.

MENIPPUS: Oughtn't one to be a little doubtful in such cases, Tiresias? Wouldn't it be rather stupid to take them on trust, without inquiring whether they're actually possible or not?

TIRESIAS: But what about all those cases of women being turned into birds or trees or animals - like Philomela, or Daphne, or Callisto? Don't you believe them either?

MENIPPUS: If I ever come across any of the ladies in question, I shall be interested to hear what they have to say on the subject. Meanwhile, my dear sir, do tell me - did you start practising prophecy when you were a woman, or did you adopt a new sex and a new profession simultaneously?

TIRESIAS: There you are ! You evidently don't know the first thing about me, if you've never heard how I settled an argument between the gods, and Hera struck me blind, and Zeus made me a prophet by way of compensation.

MENIPPUS: Oh really, Tiresias, are you still sticking to that old story? But all you so-called soothsayers are the same. You never actually tell us a word of truth.


HOW TO ENJOY LIFE AFTER SEVENTY

Scene: As before. Polystratus, a new arrival, has just run into Simylus, an old friend of his.

SIMYLUS: So you finally got here, Polystratus. Why, you must be practically a hundred!

-75-

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Satirical Sketches
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Lucian - Satirical Sketches *
  • Contents *
  • Introduction *
  • Talks *
  • The Dream or a Chapter of My Life 23
  • Zeuxis or Centaurs and Elephants *
  • Sketches *
  • Conversations in Low Society *
  • Mother Knows Best or a Young Girl's Guide to Success *
  • The Language of True Love 41
  • The Results of Shooting a Line 43
  • Conversations in High Society *
  • The New Sleeping Partner *
  • Zeus is Indisposed 51
  • The Reluctant Parent 53
  • A Beauty Competition 55
  • Conversations in the Underworld *
  • No Baggage Allowance *
  • Menippus Gets Away with It 72
  • A Slight Change of Sex 74
  • How to Enjoy Life after Seventy 75
  • Charon Sees Life *
  • Menippus Goes to Hell *
  • Icaromenippus or Up in the Clouds *
  • An Interview with Hesiod *
  • Some Awkward Questions for Zeus *
  • Philosophies Going Cheap *
  • Fishing for Phonies or the Philosophers' Day out *
  • The Pathological Liar or the Unbeliever *
  • Stories *
  • Alexander or the Bogus Oracle *
  • The True History *
  • Notes and Glossary *
  • Notes *
  • Glossary *
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