Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living: A Handbook for the Damned Human Race

By Lin Salamo; Victor Fischer et al. | Go to book overview

Mark Twain's
Helpful Hints for
Good Living

A HANDBOOK FOR THE DAMNED HUMAN RACE

Edited by Lin Salamo, Victor Fischer, and Michael B. Frank of the Mark Twain Project

THE MARK TWAIN PROJECT IS A RESEARCH AND EDITORIAL PROJECT HOUSED WITHIN THE MARK TWAIN PAPERS AT THE BANCROFT LIBRARY, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY.

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PRESS Berkeley Los Angeles London

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Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living: A Handbook for the Damned Human Race
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page *
  • Contents ix
  • Illustrations xiii
  • Introduction 1
  • Mark Twain's Helpful Hints for Good Living *
  • 1 - Everyday Etiquette 13
  • A Letter of Apology 15
  • About the Effect of Intemperate Language *
  • Be Good, Be Good. a Poem *
  • An Innovative Dinner Party Signal System *
  • About American Manners 23
  • Breaking It Gently 24
  • Courtesy to Unexpected Visitors 25
  • At the Funeral 27
  • A Telephonic Conversation 28
  • 2 - Modest Proposals and Judicious Complaints 35
  • A Christmas Wish 37
  • Proposal Regarding Local Flooding 38
  • Complaint About Unreliable Service *
  • Notice About a Stolen Umbrella *
  • An Appeal Against Injudicious Swearing 43
  • An Unwanted Magazine Subscription 45
  • On Telephones and Swearing 46
  • About the Proposed Street-Widening 48
  • Political Economy 49
  • Notice. to the Next Burglar *
  • Suggestion to Persons Entering Heaven *
  • 3 - The American Table 59
  • Memories of Food on an American Farm 61
  • American Versus European Food 63
  • An Inauspicious Meal *
  • A Remarkable Dinner 72
  • Food and Scenery *
  • 4 - Travel Manners 81
  • Traveling in Close Quarters 83
  • Communicating with the Locals *
  • A Night Excursion in a Hotel Room *
  • 5 - Health and Diet 95
  • Young Sam Clemens and Old-Time Doctoring 97
  • The “wake-Up-Jake” *
  • A Healthful Cocktail *
  • A Miracle Cure 103
  • Experience of the Mcwilliamses with Membranous Croup *
  • Smoking, Diet, and Health at Age Seventy *
  • 6 - Parenting and the Ethical Child 117
  • The Late Benjamin Franklin 119
  • On Theft and Conscience *
  • On Training Children *
  • A Sampling of Childish Ethics 125
  • Youthful Misdemeanors 133
  • Advice to Youth *
  • 7 - Clothes, Fashion, and Style 139
  • A Fashion Item 141
  • The Hand of Fashion 143
  • That White Suit *
  • Clothes and Deception *
  • A Sumptuous Robe 153
  • 8 - In Case of Emergency 155
  • Playing “bear” 157
  • An Apparition 161
  • The Great Earthquake in San Francisco *
  • Escape of the Tarantulas *
  • Burglary and the Well-Tempered Householder 173
  • Under a Policeman's Eye *
  • About the Text 183
  • Works Cited 203
  • Acknowledgments 207
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