Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships

By Joel B. Bennett | Go to book overview

5—
Time, Addiction, and Intimacy: Scripts, Archescripts, & Holoscripts*

Many who suffer the pitfalls of addictive lifestyles have fallen into dysfunctional patterns while seeking a higher, more creative and meaningful way to relate in this mundane world. They often tell me that they were born feeling like strangers in a strange land, and have lived with a deep sense of isolation… These people are more interested in seeking a way out or back to that “other place” where they truly feel at home than bothering to try to make it here in this world. And they may choose addictive relationships, sex, chemical highs, overeating, causes, or gurus to fill the empty spaces within their hearts, the gaps of unfulfillment. They will give their power away to almost anyone or anything; so desperate are they to find that something or someone to guide them home. (Small, 1991, p. 37)

Up until now, I have described a somewhat ideal state of affairs. Many people do not experience all, if any, of the forms of intimacy described earlier. Few spend the time to develop qualities of presence and flow. Life seems to run smoothly without any special awareness of temporal qualities (e.g., routine, pacing) and the deep experience of intimacy may be rare. Indeed, in their review of research on intimacy, Berscheid and Reis (1998) concluded: “… most relationships never become highly intimate, even when the participants are initially attracted to each other and are not particularly averse to intimacy” (p. 225). Relationships have their “dark sides” of jealousy, envy, sexual coercion, violence, and obsessive love (see Cupach & Spitzberg, 1994, for research on these phenomena). So, the current view of intimacy and wholeness may be just

____________________
*
An earlier version of this chapter was presented at the 1993 International Association of Transactional Analysis (Minneapolis, MN).

-129-

Notes for this page

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this book

This book has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this book

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this page

Cited page

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited page

Bookmark this page
Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships
Table of contents

Table of contents

Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this book

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen
/ 349

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    Buy instant access to save your work.

    Already a member? Log in now.

    Author Advanced search

    Oops!

    An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.