an answering machine met my needs until then. I hire graduate students as research assistants for my writing projects. Learning to delegate more was a must. I also preserve my leisure and family time. I never work later than 10 p.m., in part because my brain just stops functioning at that hour and is only able to absorb television drama! I plan vacations at reasonable intervals throughout the year and my husband and I love to travel. Being away from the office, the phone, and my computer forces me to focus differently. I try diligently to exercise 3 times a week, not because I love it, but because since I had angioplasty in 1984, I know exercise is essential to my survival. The life-threatening illness also led me to clarify and confirm my values. I spend as much time as I can with my two children, Joshua (b. 1959), Laura (b. 1962), their spouses, and my 5 wonderful grandchildren, Brad (b.1985), Scott, and Andrew (b. 1988) Cantor; and Alex (b. 1989) and Molly (b. 1992) Cramer.
I have received many honors from my peers, including the election to the APA presidency. But the most rewarding honor came in June, 1995 from my grandson, Brad, who was then 9l/2 years old. He invited me to the closing ceremony of the enrichment program for gifted children that he participated in the local public school system. I did not know that each of the third graders was going to describe his or her heroes and heroines. Here is what Brad read:
My grandmother, Oma, is my heroine. She grew up in the Bronx. She is very important and nice. And she is also very important to many people. She has written a couple of semi-famous books. One is Women in Power. I think she is one of the most important people I know. Oma is my heroine.
Nothing could be more meaningful and thrilling to me than to have the love and respect of my family, who are, as they always have been, my priority. I am really pleased to have found a way to balance my life and that I have not missed the joy and love of my husband, children, and grandchildren as I pursued my career path. My wish for my future is that it is long, healthy, and filled with the same pleasures, excitement, and caring that I have been blessed with up until now. I know there remain wonderful new adventures and challenges for me and I plan to take on as many as I can.
Bernay, T., &Cantor, D. W. (Eds.). (1986). The psychology of today's women: New psycholoanalytic visions. Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press.
Cantor, D. W. (2000). What do you want to do when you grow up? New York: Little, Brown.