You've Got a Weird Mind.
You'll Fit in Well Here.
It says here that you're starting some sort of funny magazine. All I
can say is that you people have a lot of nerve. Haven't you looked
outside your own selfish egos long enough to see that people are
being wronged and oppressed all over the world? Take the fascist
military regimes which seem to grow in number every year. In
these stricken countries, you can't even look cross-eyed without the
secret police writing your name down in little notebooks. It may
even be years later that one night you are roused from your sleep
by the terrifying sound of rifle butts breaking down your flimsy
rattan door. The brutal thug drags you, heedless of your piteous
cries, deep, deep into the jungle. Never to return. And you, with
your funny magazine.
—Viola da Gamba, South Orange, New Jersey
(The first fictitious letter to the editor appearing in
the April 1970 National Lampoon)