What Do Women Eat?
The time has come for us to set straight certain wild-eyed indi-
viduals who have publicly accused the National Lampoon of har-
boring chauvinist pigs, sexist dogs, female-exploiting jackals and
other unfashionable quadrupeds in its editorial kennels. Nothing
could be further from the truth. However, to allay the fears of the
27% of our readership who happen to be female (68% Male, 5%
Undecided), we hereby openly admit that certain female staff mem-
bers of the National Lampoon have grown restive of late (under
the inflammatory goadings of a certain Managing Editor Mary
Marshmallow, no doubt).
The Editors were recently presented with a list of demands by
these shrill individuals, which included the following outrageous
ultimatums: 1) all female staff members' salaries are to be paid
in real money or its equivalent in edible produce, 2) a permanent
cessation of corporal punishment for lateness or general editorial