Cutting It Out: A Journey through Psychotherapy and Self-Harm

By Carolyn Smith | Go to book overview

Chapter 13
Anthropomorphic adventures

I begin to feel much better after my impromptu running session and wonder if I shouldn't make it more of a regular occurrence and not just when a therapy session goes badly. I get home, hang up my coat and phone my mum before I forget. We talk on the phone quite a lot, but I sometimes feel guilty because it is her who always phones me and she often phones when I'm out at therapy. She doesn't know, you see, about therapy. I've never quite worked out a way of how to tell her. I'm not sure she'd understand. She's from the background of not moaning about stuff, just getting on and doing. And I think she'd worry. She'd not understand what therapy is and she'd think I was on the verge of suicide or something and start asking too many questions and need to know what she did wrong that I'm so unhappy. It's easier if she doesn't know. I dial her number but there is no answer. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

The next morning I stretch, yawn and kick the cat off my bed, who has probably been asleep there most of the night. Surely it is too early to get up for work. Even with the curtains drawn I can tell it is still very dark outside and there is the faint drumming of rain on the window. I make a split-second decision not to go to work – it is way too horrible outside – so I turn over and scrunch my eyes up, trying to magic myself asleep, trying to ignore the nagging feeling left over from

-67-

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Cutting It Out: A Journey through Psychotherapy and Self-Harm
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page 3
  • Contents 7
  • Foreword 9
  • Chapter 1 - Mind the Gap 11
  • Chapter 2 - Sweet Rebellion 19
  • Chapter 3 - The Traveller 21
  • Chapter 4 - Can You Keep a Secret? 27
  • Chapter 5 - Is It a Bird? 31
  • Chapter 6 - Rituals and Legends 34
  • Chapter 7 - Let's Face the Music 41
  • Chapter 8 - Treacle Tuesday 46
  • Chapter 9 - Bedrooms and Nests 52
  • Chapter 10 - Well Trained 57
  • Chapter 11 - Dream On 61
  • Chapter 12 - Timber! 63
  • Chapter 13 - Anthropomorphic Adventures 67
  • Chapter 14 - Ejected 73
  • Chapter 15 - An Understanding 77
  • Chapter 16 - Reflections 83
  • Chapter 17 - Operation Bin 85
  • Chapter 18 - Silent Scrawl 90
  • Chapter 19 - Childish Interpretations 92
  • Chapter 20 - Rescue Me 98
  • Chapter 21 - A Break Too Many 103
  • Chapter 22 - Fruit Bowl Stuff 112
  • Chapter 23 - All Change 120
  • Further Information and Support 127
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