Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom

By Cindy N. Ariel; Robert A. Naseef | Go to book overview

40. Melt(d)ing Down

Rauidhri Finn

A meltdown is when you get cross and can't remember things and break things and scream and a freak-out is when you just get confused and scared and can't talk.

One day I was painting and I was 15 and I put water for the brushes in a glass bucket thing and my father saw and got cross with me and tried to stop me while I was painting and I had the biggest meltdown ever and I picked up the bucket and threw it and it hit him on the head and he fell down and then there is a hole in my memory and then I was sitting on top of him and I was holding a piece of glass in my hand and I was going to cut his throat then my mother and uncle walked in and I ran away. And then another big hole in my memory and next day I was in my head again. And so I knew that maybe I could kill people and that I had to be very careful not to get cross and I made a promise to myself never to hit anyone again and I have kept that promise except only twice and then not hard so that's OK and there was a boy who was Asperger's like me in England who killed his brother when he had a meltdown so I am lucky. But I wasn't really so sorry cos he wasn't a nice person and my mother didn't think so either cos one day and my brother said it to me and showed me the bullet in the door when she took out a gun to shoot him and missed and so she is not a good shot.

Once when I was studying for an exam at night and my mother and father started fighting about the gin and I took it away from them and threw it away and they hit me and he ran away and then I left home and didn't have a home anymore. But I passed the exam and had to go and find him very late at night and couldn't study. I was still young and 17 and then had to look after myself and find how to go to university and get qualifications and get money and everything and lots of nice people helped.

When I was in hospital for the first time and the psychiatrist said was the best thing for me I was 20 years old and was at a friend's house and he had taken me there to have lunch and we were going to eat steak and I like eating steak and then he asked his girlfriend and I got really upset now cos she was coming and wasn't jealous or anything but I was upset cos he didn't

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Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People with Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page 3
  • Contents 7
  • Introduction: Learning from Autism 12
  • Part 1: Raising a Child on the Autism Spectrum 15
  • 1: The Ride for Autism 17
  • 2: The Tree's on Fire 21
  • 3: Perspectives 25
  • 4: Facing the Pain of Autism—and Surviving 29
  • 5: Happy with My Daughter 33
  • 6: Through the Looking Glass 36
  • 7: My Will 40
  • 8: Jenius 45
  • 9: School Days 49
  • 10: You Never Know 53
  • 11: Talk to Me, My Darling 56
  • 12: Our Lives at the Edge of the Spectrum 60
  • 13: Pulling String 64
  • 14: Still the Same Boy! 68
  • 15: Stump the Cook 73
  • 16: Taking the Bag off 78
  • 17: Truth: The Parents' Spectrum 82
  • 18: Listening to Macord 87
  • 19: Parallel Worlds 92
  • 20: The Question 96
  • 21: Simply Perfect 99
  • 22: on the Wings of Asperger's 103
  • 23: Learning to Embrace the [A] Word 107
  • 24: on Eating Biscuits 112
  • 25: Katie's Question 116
  • Part 2: The Grandparents' Connection 119
  • 26: Barefooted Band-Aid Boy 121
  • 27: Lap Time 124
  • 28: An Unexpected Gift of Love 128
  • 29: A Grandmother's Story 132
  • 30: Come with Me, Grandma 136
  • Part 3: The Sibling Experience 139
  • 31: An Unexpected Blessing 141
  • 32: Growing Up with Bradley 145
  • 33: Living Life 149
  • 34: Their Sound Has Gone out 153
  • 35: Why Am I So Resentful? 156
  • 36: My Brother…ahhhhhhhh! 158
  • Part 4: Diagnosed on the Spectrum 161
  • 37: No! You Don't Understand! 163
  • 38. It Never Rains… 167
  • 39. …it Pours 171
  • 40. Melt(D)Ing Down 175
  • 41. Relativity 178
  • 42. Essay on Autism 180
  • 43. the Way We Think 185
  • 44. the Chains of Friendship: An Autistic Person's Perspective on Interpersonal Relationships 189
  • 45. Jordan's Gift 194
  • 46. the Importance of Parents in the Success of People with Autism 199
  • 47. Culture, Conditions, and Personhood: A Response to the Cure Debate on Autism 204
  • Part 5: Working on the Spectrum 209
  • 48. a Sound from Kuwait 211
  • 49. Learning from Oliver 215
  • 50. Closet Case: Finding the Way out 219
  • 51. the Wizard of Echolalia 223
  • 52. Two Autistic Children— a World of Difference 227
  • 53. Life as a Cooking Pot 232
  • 54. Moving to the Heart of the Matter 237
  • 55. Circle of Devotion 241
  • 56. Playing with Hudson 245
  • 57. the Path of Acceptance for Families 249
  • 58. the Challenges of Autism: An Introspection 253
  • 59. No Looking Back 256
  • 60. Spiderman at Mini-Camp 260
  • Appendix: Further Reading and Internet Resources 264
  • About the Editors 268
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