I think some pretty cool gifts are wrapped in pain.
When my first marriage began to unravel, I didn’t see that at first. I looked at it as a gift, all right. The kind you open and mutter, “You shouldn’t have.”
There was no map to show me a way through the pain, and eventually I quit fighting it. I let myself hurt—for seven months. For seven months I had the luxury of doing almost nothing but grieve. Most people told me it was taking too long to move on, except for one—who said it takes as long as it takes. I learned the only way to feel better sometimes is to let yourself feel even worse.
Any four- year- old knows this. Try telling a toddler to stop crying, that it’s wrong to be this upset about that thing. Suddenly you have a different problem.