Connecting with Kids through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachment in Adopted Children

By Denise B. Lacher; Todd Nichols et al. | Go to book overview

Chapter 1
The Inner
Working Model

Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

Robert was not a wanted child. Tanya was 15. She didn’t want to
be a mother. She smoked, sometimes a pack a day. She liked to
hang out and party with her friends. Someone always managed to
get some weed and a bottle. When the nurse at the clinic asked
about drug and alcohol use she always denied it. She didn’t want
trouble and what difference would it make anyway? Tanya had
been placed in a group home with other teenagers after running
away from home. She said her mother’s boyfriend hit her and she
couldn’t stay there one more minute. She would be moving back
home after the baby was born. Her mother promised that the boy-
friend would be gone by then.

When the baby was born, Tanya was terrified. The pain was
bad. She didn’t want to hold him after she gave birth; she just
wanted to curl up and sleep. She watched the nurses fuss and coo
at him. “Let them,” she thought. When she arrived home with
Robert, the boyfriend was there, drunk and mean as ever. He
yelled every time the baby cried. Tanya’s mom told her to feed him;
she tried but he just kept crying. So she left and found her friends.
When she got back, Robert was sleeping on her bed. She slept
too.

Robert felt uncomfortable, hungry, wet, and alone most of the
time. He cried a lot. Sometimes someone came and other times he
fell asleep exhausted. Sometimes someone came and his head
exploded in hurt and he cried harder. As the weeks passed, he
stopped crying much. His bottom was raw and sore but he didn’t

-15-

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Connecting with Kids through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachment in Adopted Children
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page 3
  • Contents 5
  • Acknowledgments 8
  • Legacy of an Adopted Child 9
  • Introduction 11
  • Chapter 1 - The Inner Working Model 15
  • Chapter 2 - Putting the Pieces Together Discovering the Child’s Model 33
  • Chapter 3 - Narratives That Bond, Heal, and Teach 48
  • Chapter 4 - Claiming Narratives 65
  • Chapter 5 - Trauma Narratives 80
  • Chapter 6 - Developmental Narratives 96
  • Chapter 7 - Successful Child Narratives 112
  • Conclusion 129
  • Appendix A - Emdr 132
  • Appendix B - Story Construction Guide 133
  • References 135
  • Subject Index 139
  • Author Index 143
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