LIII

TAKING the paper with him Mr. Carey retired to his study. Philip changed his chair for that in which his uncle had been sitting (it was the only comfortable one in the room), and looked out of the window at the pouring rain. Even in that sad weather there was something restful about the green fields that stretched to the horizon. There was an intimate charm in the landscape which he did not remember ever to have noticed before. Two years in France had opened his eyes to the beauty of his own countryside.

He thought with a smile of his uncle's remark. It was lucky that the turn of his mind tended to flippancy. He had begun to realise what a great loss he had sustained in the death of his father and mother. That was one of the differences in his life which prevented him from seeing things in the same way as other people. The love of parents for their children is the only emotion which is quite disinterested. Among strangers he had grown up as best he could, but he had seldom been used with patience or forbearance. He prided himself on his self-control. It had been whipped into him by the mockery of his fellows. Then they called him cynical and callous. He had acquired calmness of demeanour and under most circumstances an unruffled exterior, so that now he could not show his feelings. People told him he was unemotional; but he knew that he was at the mercy of his emotions: an accidental kindness touched him so much that sometimes he did not venture to speak in order not to betray the unsteadiness of his voice. He remembered the bitterness of his life at school, the humiliation which he had endured, the banter which had made him morbidly afraid of making himself ridiculous; and he remembered the loneliness he had felt since, faced with the world, the disillusion and the disappointment caused by the difference between what it prom

-315-

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Of Human Bondage
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page *
  • I 1
  • II 3
  • III 6
  • IV 11
  • V 15
  • VI 19
  • VII 25
  • VIII 28
  • IX 33
  • X 39
  • XI 43
  • XII 49
  • XIII 53
  • XIV 56
  • XV 62
  • XVI 69
  • XVII 76
  • XVIII 82
  • XIX 86
  • XX 91
  • XXI 96
  • XXII 107
  • XXIII 111
  • XXIV 117
  • XXV 119
  • XXVI 122
  • XXVII 130
  • XXVIII 136
  • XXIX 143
  • XXX 146
  • XXXI 153
  • XXXII 156
  • XXXIII 165
  • XXXIV 175
  • XXXV 181
  • XXXVI 190
  • XXXVII 195
  • XXXVIII 201
  • XXXIX 208
  • XL 213
  • XLI 221
  • XLII 230
  • XLIII 236
  • XLIV 244
  • XLV 252
  • XLVI 261
  • XLVII 267
  • XLVIII 277
  • XLIX 286
  • L 294
  • LI 302
  • LII 307
  • LIII 315
  • LIV 321
  • LV 327
  • LVI 334
  • LVII 339
  • LVIII 345
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  • Cxxii 763
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