XCVI

THE climax came two or three weeks later. Mildred was driven by Philip's behaviour to a pitch of strange exasperation. There were many different emotions in her soul, and she passed from mood to mood with facility. She spent a great deal of time alone and brooded over her position. She did not put all her feelings into words, she did not even know what they were, but certain things stood out in her mind, and she thought of them over and over again. She had never understood Philip, nor had very much liked him; but she was pleased to have him about her because she thought he was a gentleman. She was impressed because his father had been a doctor and his uncle was a clergyman. She despised him a little because she had made such a fool of him, and at the same time was never quite comfortable in his presence; she could not let herself go, and she felt that he was criticising her manners.

When she first came to live in the little rooms in Kennington she was tired out and ashamed. She was glad to be left alone. It was a comfort to think that there was no rent to pay; she need not go out in all weathers, and she could lie quietly in bed if she did not feel well. She had hated the life she led. It was horrible to have to be affable and subservient; and even now when it crossed her mind she cried with pity for herself as she thought of the roughness of men and their brutal language. But it crossed her mind very seldom. She was grateful to Philip for coming to her rescue, and when she remembered how honestly he had loved her and how badly she had treated him, she felt a pang of remorse. It was easy to make it up to him. It meant very little to her. She was surprised when he refused her suggestion, but she shrugged her shoulders: let him put on airs if he liked, she did not care, he would be anxious enough in a little while, and then it would be her

-593-

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Of Human Bondage
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page *
  • I 1
  • II 3
  • III 6
  • IV 11
  • V 15
  • VI 19
  • VII 25
  • VIII 28
  • IX 33
  • X 39
  • XI 43
  • XII 49
  • XIII 53
  • XIV 56
  • XV 62
  • XVI 69
  • XVII 76
  • XVIII 82
  • XIX 86
  • XX 91
  • XXI 96
  • XXII 107
  • XXIII 111
  • XXIV 117
  • XXV 119
  • XXVI 122
  • XXVII 130
  • XXVIII 136
  • XXIX 143
  • XXX 146
  • XXXI 153
  • XXXII 156
  • XXXIII 165
  • XXXIV 175
  • XXXV 181
  • XXXVI 190
  • XXXVII 195
  • XXXVIII 201
  • XXXIX 208
  • XL 213
  • XLI 221
  • XLII 230
  • XLIII 236
  • XLIV 244
  • XLV 252
  • XLVI 261
  • XLVII 267
  • XLVIII 277
  • XLIX 286
  • L 294
  • LI 302
  • LII 307
  • LIII 315
  • LIV 321
  • LV 327
  • LVI 334
  • LVII 339
  • LVIII 345
  • LIX 353
  • LX 361
  • LXI 365
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  • LXIV 382
  • LXV 387
  • LXVI 391
  • LXVII 398
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  • LXX 419
  • LXXI 427
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  • LXXIII 439
  • LXXIV 448
  • LXXV 455
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  • LXXVII 470
  • LXXVIII 474
  • LXXIX 481
  • LXXX 489
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  • LXXXIV 513
  • LXXXV 520
  • LXXXVI 526
  • LXXXVII 531
  • LXXXVIII 540
  • LXXXIX 548
  • XC 552
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  • XCII 563
  • XCIII 570
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  • XCV 585
  • XCVI 593
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  • Xcix 614
  • C 618
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  • Cxiv 710
  • Cxv 716
  • Cxvi 722
  • Cxvii 730
  • Cxviii 736
  • Cxix 744
  • Cxx 750
  • Cxxi 756
  • Cxxii 763
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