Books: Literal Man of Letters; Wanted: One Freudian Slip and All Other Odd Items Considered by Michael A Lee, Robson Books, Pounds 8.99
Byline: Caroline Foulkes
Michael A Lee is a man who takes things literally. And thank the Lord he does.
If you've ever wondered how to get a weight lifted off your mind, where to get your money laundered or where you can buy a poetic licence, then Lee is your man.
Freudian Slip is the sequel to his first book, Written in Jest, a series of letters penned as applications for non-existent jobs such as principal stable boy for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and Government scapegoat.
He even managed to get an appointment out of it, as the official beast of Bodmin Moor.
Now he returns to pester customer services, clergy and countless others the length and breadth of Britain in a bid to find out where to undertake a course in epoch-making, where grease is sold and where to purchase a chocolate fireguard.
Amazingly, very few of the responses are snotty or dismissive. In fact, many of the respondents seem to positively relish Lee's letters as an alleviation of the boring and tedious correspondence they probably suffer on a daily basis.
Take the fantastically named Portia D Edmiston of Next's customer services department.
She responds to Lee's inquiry about a Freudian Slip for his wife by telling him it is 'a Nietzsche of the market we are looking to expand,' (boom, boom! …